The Day the Music Didn't Die

There was a series of Tweets on Twitter today by the members of The Whomping Willows, The Moaning Myrtles and Justin Finch-Fletchley and the Sugar Quills. Apparently they were driving to a gig together and narrowly avoided a tornado, thanks to some clever driving by Whompy.

Well, first of all, thank the stars for that! I'm very glad that everyone is okay, as is the rest of fandom.

I mean, heaven forbid, they hadn't made it, they would have become the Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and Big Bopper of Wrock (I'll let them argue over which is which). And then someone would have had to write a parody of American Pie about it all.

You can see where I'm going with this, right?

Okay, here it is. It's not a parody of the whole song, which is longer than Order of the Phoenix. I cut out a few of the later verses, following the same structure "Weird Al" Yankovic did when he wrote his parody of this song about The Phantom Menace.

If any of the subjects of his song read this, please don't be creeped out that I'm writing a song that sort of asks "what if you died." Just ... doing something to keep myself from doing my real job.

Oh, and the lyrics don't make much sense, but remember what I was working with.

The Day The Wizard Wrock Didn't Die
a parody of "American Pie" by Don McLean
New lyrics by Dean O'Carroll

Not that long ago...
I can still remember
When music was a Muggle thing
Then Joe and Paul said “if we wrock,
Then we could make those people flock
To come and hear us play and sing.”

But June came in with quite a shocker
A brush with death for several wrockers:
A big tornado tried to kill
Wompy, Myrtle, and the Quills

But Wompy got them through the ride
And with relief all fandom sighed
That today would not be set aside
(as) The day wrock music died.

And we’re not sayin’

Bye, bye to those Wizard Rock Guys
Drove their pistons through a twistin’
Air cone in the sky
And since that is not a real fun way to fly
We’re seein’ all the fangirls cry
Like when they saw Diggory die

Now we’ve all read those books by Jo,
And listened to Matt Maggiacomo,
And Draco and the rest of them
Do you believe in Wizard Rock,
A gift even better than Dobby’s sock,
And can you sing like Riddle T.M.?

Experienced too much Butterbeer?
We’ll cut you off, like George’s ear
But we’ll all do some whoopin’
With help from the Remus Lupins

Oh yeah, the Hogwarts Trainwreck does the trick
With a little help from Swish and Flick,
But thinking of it just makes me sick
The day wrock music died.

And we’re not singin’

Bye, bye to those Wizard Rock Guys
Drove their pistons through a twistin’
Air cone in the sky
And now there’s no more EP’s to buy
I’m alone, asking “why, oh why?”
Wipe tears from my Ipod’s eye

Bella, tella fella who is yella
Will we be safe in your cyclone cella?
To eat some pasta with a basilisk
Did you Catchlove with Forge and Gred
With a face on Alas Earwax’s head
And spin a Grand Pres disk

Oh, it started rainin’ cats and dogs,
And Acid Pops and Chocolate Frogs.
But remember how we enjoyed
The Parselmouths and Oliver Boyd
While the Aurors jam along with Tonks
Don’t get peeved if the tourbus honks
At Hermione and Crook-shonks (?)
Don’t let wrock music die

Don’t be singin’

Bye, bye to those Wizard Rock Guys
Drove their pistons through a twistin’
Air cone in the sky
And they tweeted with some very high-speed wi-fi
OMG we R all gonna die!
OMG we R all gonna die!

I met DJ Luna L
And those Quaffle Kids as well
And Tom Riddle helped me make some friends
So we went to Itunes store
To search for blood, either mud or pure
Because we knew this couldn’t be the end

And in the Ministry of Magic
‘Everything was mighty tragic,
Sleeping dragons were awoken
‘Cause Ginny’s heart was broken

And three bands I admire most
The Fletchley, tree, and the toilet ghost,
Can send this message by Owl Post
Today, no wrock music died

So we’re not singin’

Bye, bye to those Wizard Rock Guys
Drove their pistons through a twistin’
Air cone in the sky
Got through the hail that was tennis-ball-sized
Sayin’ this won’t be the day that we die!
Sayin’ this won’t be the day that we die!

Instead we’re singin’

My, I love those Wizard Rock Guys
That tornada’ woulda made a
Lesser group of folks cry
But they got through it just as easy as pie
And wizard rock refuses to die