Get your "Team Dean" t-shirts now!

So I was listening to the Live Ustream of Claire on the Air, a Wrock and chat show by Claire from Accio Potter yesterday and I was in the chat. I never feel 100% comfortable being places like that, since everyone else there was high school or college age and being the only 32-year-old in a chatroom with teenagers seems like you’re signing yourself up for “Dateline”’s watchlist. But I really like the Accio Gang, I had some free time, so why the heck not, y’know?

Anyway Claire mentioned something about a kid at camp having a crush on a counselor. This reminded me of a story from the summer I met my wife.

We were working at a theatre that did children’s plays and she was stage managing a version of THE UGLY DUCKLING in which I played the titular duckling/swan. My wife no longer works in theatre, but she kept me as a souvenir.

The lead roles in the play were played by high school and college aged actors (and a few people like me who were a year or two out of school). But we also had a chorus of kids about 9-12 who played additional ducklings.

My future wife and I had been dating for about six weeks by this point and were pretty aware this was something special. But, as it turned out, I was not the only guy in that show vying for her affections.

See, one of the little ducklings clearly took a liking to her and took every opportunity to talk with her, sit next to her, etc. Now, clearly, I was not facing much competition from a ten year old, but it was still a little annoying to see this kid making moves on my lady!

Anyway, after Claire’s kid-at-camp story, I told a short version of my story in the chat and people seemed to find it pretty amusing. Suddenly everyone declared that in the battle between me and this kid, they were all on “Team Dean.”

That’s right, people were shipping me and my wife!

Well … okay. Not a very controversial ship, like when, say, fans at LeakyCon started imagining a pairing between Melissa Anelli and the happily married John Green. But it’s nice, and slightly creepy, to be thought of that way.

Now all we need is one of these portmanteau couple names, like Harmony (Harry/Hermione) or Snarry (Snape/Harry). Of course, since my wife prefers to remain anonymous in my adventures into fandom, she can only be called “Dean’s Wife.” If I was still doing “That Anonymous Guy” pieces for Inside the Magic, she could be “That Anonymous Gal,” like Bill Simmons, ESPN.com’s Sports Guy, calls his wife “The Sports Gal.” But those are on hold for a while, and it’s a whole ’nuther fandom, so that’s out. So … how do you smush up “Dean O’Carroll” and “Dean O’Carroll’s Wife”?

Dife?
Deaf?
Wean?
Wine?
Wocarroll?
O’Cwife?

Or, perhaps, the most accurate: WiCar, pronounced “Why Care?”