Harry, A History, A Movie

Melissa Anelli of Pottercast and The Leaky Cauldron was trapped in an airport the other day and asked her Twitter followers to tweet questions at her, for her to answer on her vlog. (Think how little sense that sentence would have made ten years ago) She was kind enough to answer some of mine, but didn’t have time to answer one I asked about what actors should be cast when they make the movie version of her book Harry, A History. She apparently has discussed this (not that there is going to be, or will ever be a movie … unless WB gets REALLY hungry for more Potter) with Matt Maggiacomo (AKA The Whomping Willows), but didn’t have their list on hand. So … I made my own.



Melissa, our hero … Jenna Fisher
A fan suggested Amy Adams. Now, I love Amy Adams, but she’s far too fairy-princess for Melissa. If we’re casting hot-young-thang actresses, I’d prefer Anne Hathaway. Now, I think of Melissa as having a strong New York Italian streak (as Boston Irish, I find that a little intimidating … I was very glad to learn Melissa is not a Yankees fan), and my go-to actress for NY Italian (under 40) is Alyssa Milano. Hey, if you grew up as a straight adolescent boy in the late-eighties/early-nineties you were required, by law, to have a crush on Alyssa Milano, Christina Applegate, and/or one of the “Saved by the Bell” girls. It’s not my call, it was the law. But Milano’s not quite right. I briefly considered newish “SNL” castmember Casey Wilson, who is taller and more zaftig than Melissa, but has somewhat similar features. But in the end I went with Fisher, who has the comic and dramatic chops for the role. Watch her on Season 3 of “The Office” sometime – it might be the best television acting of this decade.

John, Melissa’s Pottercast cohost … Justin Long
Yeah, the Mac and PC guy. He would really be perfect. He can do the schtick, do the cool, and get serious if he needs to.

Sue, Melissa’s other Pottercast cohost … Drew Barrymore
I found Sue hardest to cast. But thinking of Justin Long made me think of his ex, Miss Barrymore. I think she could pull off the squeeing and make it seem cute, not cloying.

JK Rowling, okay, maybe SHE’S the hero … Jennifer Ehle
Sadly, the late Natasha Richardson would have been perfect. Miranda Richardson (no relation), yes, Rita Skeeter herself, comes to mind, as does Emma “Professor Trelawney” Thompson, though both are a little old. Nicole Kidman is closer in age, but it would be nice to stay British. Ehle doesn’t look that much like Rowling, but she’s the right age and was so good in Pride and Prejudice (the miniseries, not the recent movie).

Laura Mallory, anti-Potter crusader … Missi Pyle
If you saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, she played Mrs. Beauregard. I think this would be a variation on that, with a southern accent. (now that I look at her on IMDB, she actually looks a little like Sue … only a little, though)

Harry and the Potters, Wrock Pioneers …Two out of the three Jonas Brothers.
Okay, I know very little about the Jonas Brothers, but they are brothers in a band and they would probably attract teen girls to the movie.

Emerson Spartz, Mugglenet muckymuck ... Anton Yelchin
Okay, I kinda pulled that one out of my toochis, but why not?

Matt Maggiacamo, Whomping Willow … Seth Rogen
He, he’s lost a lot of weight recently!

Cheryl Klein, Scholastic Muckymuck, got to read the books before all of us … Elizabeth Mitchell
I have no idea how old Cheryl is. Probably younger than Mitchell, but the casting still works, I think.